To Be Young and Bold
For several times that I have asked my colleagues if they’d ever want to do something crazier than the RC Racer in HK Disneyland, majority, even the men, already declined. Why? Because of fear.
That kind of surprised me. I understand that most of them (all of us, I mean) are acrophobic. I thought regardless of how spine-tingling our experiences had been, they’d be happy to do the same adrenaline boosting stunt once again. Yes, I am talking about fear of heights because of all the things we pulled off during our Hong Kong trip, nothing comes as exciting and nerve-wracking as that time in Disneyland fighting our will to summon our inner warriors, while trying not to pee our pants.
That was when we tried the RC Racer.
I was in a group of 4 brave? men and 2 women. Surely, the majority were hesitant about pursuing the “Racer” after trying out the Parachute drop. That was normal for acrophobics. But we decided to get on with the plan because we knew, that opportunity may never cross our paths again. We pursued the Racer although it was obvious everyone was having second thoughts as soon as we were there standing just meters from the raging ride that will ultimately test our will and courage.
We waited in line anxious about who in the group will first retreat and leave. While waiting, I felt the need to ask the other two girls if they were sure about doing it as I knew both had health issues and I can’t allow them do something that will put their lives in danger, although at the back of my head, I was cheering them on to continue. I was honestly scared for their lives as both are hypertensive. The ride’s regulation was clear and that put the men in the same predicament as the other two girls. I would have understand if they chose to stay behind, but surprisingly, they did not. We were a team when we left the hotel and roamed around Hong Kong that day and in that exact moment, without having to say it in words, I knew, everyone affirmed that we will make it happen as a team. That was what team building should be like in the first place.
I’ve witnessed my friends throw up on several occasions, in many instances, but at that time while our spirits are trying to escape our bodies, to hell with throwing up and vomits, the 2 girls beside me and the men at the back, made it. We all made it. I was happiest and proudest of them.
While my stomach twisted and turned as the ride pushed back and forth, I tried to enjoy not just the feeling of falling to and being pulled to the ground, but also what the ground below looked like from the top. That was a first time for me, the only time I feel close to free-falling. I looked and scanned the audience’s reaction to our hopefully not-too-funny reactions and how the parachute drop in the distance fared in comparison to what I went through at that moment. Although I felt terribly sick, I focused on the ground and the people and the view. It’s not everyday that you come to experience something that will test your stamina and will, right?
And since I am hard-headed, I still insisted my friends to try another ride, if given the chance. I was told it is easy for me to get on something that I love doing. To some degree, they are right. It is easier to pull off something that you love doing, like putting myself to the test, like knowing how much adrenaline I would need before I turn my back running with my tail tuck between my legs. I like to asses how much courage I can muster before I break apart… or maybe before I pass out… and die.
What my friends did not know is that, I am afraid of heights myself. No matter how much I loved it, I am and will always be as equally afraid of the ocean. My stomach churns at the sight of the blue waters below me everytime I ride on a plane, that sometimes the recollection gave me unbelievable nightmares. There is some strange feeling that I am being pulled down to the abyss of unknown depths and I know, if that happens, I won’t be able to survive it. But still, I want to do something more than what I have done. I want to kill whatever it is that gives me fright. I want to conquer my fears little by little. If that means I’d have to do a space jump like Baumgartner and Alan Eustace, yeah, I think I should do it.
I don’t know why I wrote about this now but I feel it is relevant for me to affirm this at present… It feels strange today alright. Oh fears, let go of me again so I won’t have to think about flying!