Winter Solstice

by Maricel

The period from when I last blogged has been one silent ride for me. Silent because even with the chaos I was subjected into, I decided to remain calm and reserved. Few people have said goodbye (directly and indirectly); few good ones came in; new things came up and life never failed to surprise me with something that both challenged my conviction and will.

I found a new interest which I believe is pretty awesome and I am working on it daily. I’m doing well with keeping up a hobby I almost forgot and I am super-stoked on getting my grip on a dream I almost lost interest to pursue and look for ways on how best to assist myself on attaining the goals I’ve set for myself.

Forward-thinking has been my mantra in work. Being in a career where intensive planning is the name of the game, it has become my habit to always plan ahead and ensure everything turns out as planned, even in my personal life.  But almost always, I am more surprised, sometimes even shocked that in reality, there is a better chance of not disappointing yourself if you stop playing Jack-of-all-trades of your own life. Besides work, I refrain from planning anymore if it concerns something personal I need to work on to. I just do what I deem is necessary to be done everyday and see how these little endeavors will create results for me in the long run—if in turn this will get me into the goals or diverge me 180 degrees from where I should be.

I tried to be positive in everything, even during times when I feel myself wailing out in the middle of the night. There is good about pain and I have always believed in the positive side of opening and subjecting yourself to the throes of your own struggles.  While at some point we become broken and scarred, it is also during these moments that we also realize how strong we are capable to become everytime we victor over our own struggles and how we are able to let go of each pain after. There is beauty in everything, even in our own darkness. The starlight would not be half as beautiful as it is now if it stays in the light.

I am far from becoming the person I aspire to become. There are still a lot of mountains to move and oceans to explore, wars to wage and perhaps white flags to raise, if need be. It will be a hell of a ride for sure but I am not scared anymore. I can no longer be that woman who is afraid to take risks to start a life. I now fight for my beliefs even at the expense of losing some people in the process. There is a reason why people come and go and I just want to believe it is for the good reason.

I am working towards a better me and I hope I am able to get this done soon. 🙂

Spread some ♥ for the world, will ya?

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