Beyond Failures

by Maricel

Every new day is an opportunity to learn and appreciate life. No matter how hard it is sometimes.

And with that goes an endless effort of trying to find forgiveness for what I did and failed to do. Forgiveness from other people but more importantly, from myself.

Forgiving myself is something I still need to work out on, one thing I need to practice on a daily basis. You see, if there’s anyone who is as hard to me as the boss who’s in the other side of the globe, that would be myself. A day is hardest to face when yesterday’s turnout of events did not meet what was expected, especially if priorities weren’t at all completed with the given timeline. It makes it a lot of times harder to get off the bed and start the day with a positive attitude. Or as enthusiastic and driven as you were the day before. And no matter how I tried to shrug these things off and go on, deep inside I felt empty and useless…the downside of being a struggling perfectionist is painful.

Everyday is itself a universe that holds so many questions… and in my case, confusions and disappointments.

Random questions that spill out of nowhere like “what good I did yesterday” always lead me into deep contemplation. To me, it is good. And although the process will have me confront my failures and my demons, I am also able to reassess the worth of my actions and how all of these affect me and the lives of the people I work and live with. I am not to say that what I did was worthwhile but I do hope I did some good in there somewhere.

However today, I was told what good deed I need to pursue for the day. People do that sometimes, direct you into something, shove something on your face because you are viewed incapable… and perhaps useless. But you know, I know myself a hundred times more than people would ever think they do. I may fail at something but that does not necessarily make me a bad person.

So instead of thinking about my shortcomings, what I would do today is appreciate. Appreciate that people are concerned of the growth or stagnation I am doing for my life. Be grateful that I have today to contemplate and reassess my value in this world. That I still have the chance to forgive myself again and again.

Even if today is raining and my pluviophilia is resurfacing, I just want to try to feel good and be positive about life. Failures are vital for my growth. What is important is that I accept it, learn from it and move on. Learn from all that comes in between the winning and losing.

So to end this, I’m leaving you all with this video I just happen to come across today at
Facebook. A beautiful cover of one of my favorite songs from two equally beautiful and capable people from Thailand, Fa and Oui.

Yes, here’s to living the day that never dies.

 

PS. Fa reminds me of our very own Fatima Soriano. Oui’s smile however, is a breath of fresh air.

 

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