There as the chime dangles unnoticed, I sensed a feeling of desolation that neither him nor anyone here could totally shaken up. The waiting time has been one of a terrible feeling to bear. It has been like this for over a year now. Silence upon seemingly perpetual bouts of silence that left me deaf of longing, of sadness that I could not fathom or understand. Like the many times before, it grips right on, so hard you only wish this whole thing never really happened.
But you allowed it to happen. Did you not?
I loathed the sight of sneakers even in the distance and dreaded monochromes that used to entice my palette for a more laid-back style in fashion or design. I could not look and admire a great art or photography without those thoughts sneaking up at me from some dark corners in my mind. Like thieves ready to snatch the reality of trying to live life as I should, without having to bother all of it might bore resemblance to something I am fighting to regain back. I lose sight of how to feel amidst the myriad of wrecking emotions that ensues. Sad even, I don’t know how to address them.
Tonight is another night where silent whispers and prayers are said. Where kisses are blown, there go some hopes drifting with the unforgiving wind, bringing a new era of excitement and liberation that somewhere beyond the sphere that separates us, you could catch them one by one and feel me as real.