Just Another Silly Secret

by Maricel

It was in High school when I had my first awful taste of this recurring chest pain I’ve been enduring all these years. Now, I am twenty- six, and more or less this agony has been going on for at least 11 years or so. And yes, I consider it an agony because it drained out any little energy I had, knowing how feeble and weak I was while growing up, starting in my primary years. Until now, I still don’t know what’s wrong with me.

Some people might raise their eyebrows for why would I let such pain to make me prostrate when I can do something about it? Just go to the doctor for a check- up, and probably undergo some tests, and voila! results will unfold; either it will ease my worry or worse, aggrandize it. Either way, whatever the results may gain, at least I will know my body’s condition, not unlike before when all I did was assume. However, for me, it was not that easy to make an appointment with a doctor. Funny as it may seem, not just because I’m scared of the medical bills but more so of the doctor himself. Yeah, yeah, yeah I’m ridiculously scared with doctors and nurses and med techs and everyone in the medical field and even hospitals for some absurd reason. This has been held as one of my personal secret, yet not for long.

I couldn’t exactly remember when it all started, well I guess, my previous and consistent health problems since I was young consequently affected the way I look and regard these medical people. And most probably, it is the terror that one gets whenever medical results are given that also affected, to some degree why I have developed such phobia.

And by the way, this fear is what they call Iatrophobia (Fear of going to the doctor or of doctors).

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